Tuesday, October 16, 2007

i am a receptionist

I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Management, Computer Engineering and Swahili.

I am a Hotel Receptionist. Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you do not have the confirmation and you think that it was made under a name that starts with an X.

I am a Hotel Receptionist and it is not a problem for me to give you the seven connecting, non-smoking poolside suites with two king size beds each, four rollaways, and yes, I can install a minibar. I know that it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a Hotel Recetionist. I am expected to speak all languages and read minds. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday, you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions and yes, I can tell you your bill from March 1989 contained 25p phone call because you obviously never pay phone charges.

I am a Hotel Receptionist and I understand that McGuillicutty Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I say that we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct more guest rooms. This time, I will not forget the helicopter landing pad.

I am a Hotel Receptionist. I am quite capable of checking 3 people in, 2 people out, taking 5 reservations, answering 15 incoming phone calls and plunging the toilet in room 221 . . . . . all at the same time.

I am a Hotel Receptionist, I always know where to find the best vegetarian, Kosher, Halal, Mongolian Barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, your mother-in-law and the national economy.

I am a Hotel Receptionist and I realise that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel of Antartica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special rate of £1 because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Sandwich Club.

I am a Hotel Receptionist. I am expected to smile, empathise, sympathise, console, cajole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance and fix the bloody printer!

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from a poster in the Front Desk office.

4 comments:

mschumey07 said...

I hope you left something for the manager to do. Overworked and underpaid. This reminded me of my last job, even with a full staff, the owner trusted me more than the GM, the AM and the entire marketing team.

Finally, I got fed up and opted to put up my own company.

kikomeister said...

i don't mind the job that much. the thing that ticks me of is the guests. fair enough, they should get their money's worth but most of them think that iam entitled to do everything in their own bidding. yes, it is my job to ensure that my staff and myself provide excellent service but they still have to say the magic word. after all, i am (we are) not a slave.

hay said...

I have read something similar elsewhere, and to be honest it was a better version ther, although VERY WELL DONE because this is so true!!

Some guests expect the unachievable!! SO TRUE!! I have worked on front desk for over a year now and yet it stil shocks me to learn of some guests expectations!

kikomeister said...

i'm so glad i'm on a month break. i needed this so much otherwise i might grab a vase and hit them in the head whenever they become unreasonable.